I have friends. I'm Likeable.

Working with a new client reminded me again of the Sally Field’s quote: You like me. You really like me. The actual quote is, “You like me, right now, you like me” although that doesn’t really matter. What matters is this is how you want to feel when you walk out of a job interview. Because when they like you, they hire you.  

Graduating students work hard to convince me they will land their first professional job because of the skills learned in their course work. I work equally as hard to convince them it’s about attitude—likeability and cultural fit.  G.J. Hart, executive chairman, C.E.O. and president of California Pizza Kitchen put it this way. “…more than anything else, I hire for attitude. Skills can be learned. I’ll take attitude any day over a good skill set.”  

He’s not the only one to hire this way. Because when it comes right down to it, whatever business you are in or work you do, you do it with people. After all, you will be spending eight to ten hours or more working alongside your colleagues. People prefer to work with people they find likeable.

As I said to this particular client: You have friends. You’re likeable. But it’s more than that. Way more.

attitude and likeable in your job search.

You’re graduating college in a few months and applying for jobs. Your resume´ gets into the hands of a person (Bravo!) and gets read.  Next is a series of interviews. Once you get to this point the employer has made some assumptions about your skills.  Typically the human resources interview is to fact check those assumptions. Because your resume´ is factually correct that will be pretty much it for technical skill interviewing for most jobs.  Be ready for the attitude and likeable interviews.

I tell every student I work with interviewing is dating—you’re both trying to figure out if you like each other. Will this date lead to getting married (getting the job) or it was nice to meet you (sorry you’re not a good fit).  When you are on a date do you have your questions? You know the ones you always ask to test your date.  Well, all interviewers have their favorite questions to ask.  These questions get you to open up which helps the interviewer understand your attitude and likeability.  Questions like: What is important to you? Why is it important? Let’s have a conversation. Tell me about yourself.  What are you most proud of? What are you not good at?  I’ve been asked:  Who is your hero? Which character in the Bible would you want to have dinner with? What do you do for fun? You won’t know the exact questions but you can still prepare in order show the likeable you. (Check out the Glassdoor . The site has collected over 285,000 questions asked by hiring managers. And the site reports a significant rise in questions pertaining to cultural fit.)

Here’s the thing. When interviewing you too should be asking questions that reveal the company’s culture and the attitude and likeability of the people you will be working with each and every day.  Doing research on the company and having a clear understanding of what’s important to you in a company and job helps to formulate these types of questions.  Interviewing is a two-way conversation.

likeable you.

The best way I know to prepare for fit questions is to understand your strengths, talents and qualities and that of the organization.  And the best advice to show your likeability is to be transparent and let the interviewer know the type of person you are, what’s important to you and why.  

Writing this post I did some quick research on likeability in the workplace to fact check my own experience. A few authors asserted that likeability is a skill that can be learned.  Perhaps. I haven’t studied the field. What I do know is there’s no value in disguising who you are.  With the first stressful situation or adverse event most people default to their very real attitude and style.  That’s to say if you are working in a highly collaborative work environment like an IDEO and you do not value partnerships and the concept that we’re all in this together, you will not fit.  Your work style will reveal itself quickly and chances are you won’t have that job for too long. You’ll be too unhappy. And unhappy leads unlikeable. From my own experience I know this is true. I worked in a very disagreeable company and simply hated what I was doing.  I went from likeable to unlikeable in a nanosecond. I no longer recognized who I was and left that position.

what is likeability

With clients I discuss the difference between being likeable and being nice. We use the terms interchangeably but they are not the same.  For example, in the workplace a nice person doesn’t want to be contrary, appear argumentative or deliver bad news. Often their communication is misleading even passive aggressive.  The likeable person is valued because they are truthful; transparent in their communication. I hated when I had to deliver bad news to a client. But I know they liked me for being honest with them.

I like people who are good listeners and my guess is most people do too. Good listeners give you their undivided attention instead of formulating a response while you are talking.  When you stop to actually listen, you’ll know how to respond. I’ve found good listeners are collaborative, approachable, flexible and genuine in their communication.

I also like people who are engaged in their work.  A terrific young professional I know just landed a position with Icelantic, a ski manufacturing company.  He discovered the company when he purchased a new pair of skis, and then discovered the brand after a day of skiing. So passionate about the Icelantic brand he followed them on Twitter, attended company-sponsored events; he was living the brand. This passion led him to a job at Icelantic where he heads up customer service.  This is a guy engaged in his work.  He likes them and they like him.

in interviews

It’s easy to show your likeable qualities in an interview. Listen carefully to the questions being asked. Pause a moment before responding (you don’t want to appear over-rehearsed anyway), and then answer the question (you listened) in a way that reveals something about you that you want the interviewer to know (transparent). All the qualities you want the interviewer to know and like about you will come out in conversation.