Getting It Right from Day One: Feedback at Work.

This is the second in a series of articles focused on what you can expect from your first year and the behaviors employers will value helping you set a course for a successful career.

I just got off the phone with a new professional —I’ll call Alison—who, with just over a year at her first job, is concerned about her future; ready to quit.  OMG! She worked very hard to get that position. What happened? Listening to understand her concerns they fell into two categories.

1. Concerns related to transitioning from college student to new professional.  
2. Concerns related to the organization’s culture. 

We discovered her anxiety was attributed to receiving feedback from her boss that she took as sharp criticism, and therefore a threat to her employment.  

Transition issue:  It’s not that Alison had never received feedback before. Feedback is a must for people who want to have honest relationships. It’s a powerful and important means for communication that connects us, and our behavior, to the world around us. However, for Alison in a new job, in a new place, starting her career the consequences seemed greater than receiving feedback from a friend or professor. 
Culture issue:  In Alison’s situation the organization’s culture (I know this company very well) is highly competitive; laser-focused on winning no matter the cost to its employees.  Criticism is often mistaken for feedback and it can be brutal.  For Alison and others just starting their careers all I can say is some managers are better than others.  Her boss has a command and control managerial style not a good fit with her type of personality.

We can’t change her manager’s style. What Alison can do is develop new behaviors on receiving feedback at work (and in life).

Feedback is an essential tool for your growth.  It is a way to let you know how effective you are in what you are trying to accomplish, or how you affect your co-workers and peers. When you know how other people see you, you can overcome problems in how you communicate and interact with them. Of course, there are two sides to feedback: giving it, and receiving it. There's an art to both.

Companies that practice continuous learning and foster high performing teams very often train its employees, especially those in and slotted for leadership positions, in how to give effective feedback. (Thank you Quaker Oats for teaching all of us how to give and receive feedback.) Managers who do it well promote learning, behavior that aligns with the culture of the organization and trust.  Not all do. 

Regardless, there’s important learning for your first year at a professional job. How you hear and respond to feedback can help you demonstrate from day one qualities your employer values. 

Receiving feedback

I asked Alison to tell me where she was, what the feedback was recalling as accurately as possible the words/phrases her boss used and then tell me what she heard.  Here’s the first bit of learning about receiving feedback. Listening skills are highly valued by employers.

• Hear what is actually being said.  Retelling the encounter, she remembered in great detail the ‘do better’ or negative feedback. Although I heard it, she did not hear the praise she was given. We’re sort of geared this way. We focus on the 10% of our lives that isn’t working instead of the 90% that is and we respond to bad experiences first and seek to resolve them. The good stuff can always wait.

• Write down everything you heard.  Allow yourself a few days to process the information paying attention to how you feel about it, then go back to your notes, take out the emotional bits and look for the basic message of the feedback. That’s where the behavior change steps are found.

• Practice all the skills of an effective listener including asking questions, using facial expressions and body language e.g. look directly at the person that encourage the other person to talk.  Ask for examples. Don’t interrupt. Show interest in what is being said to you. 

We then focused our time on how she responded because —this is essential to having a great first year—you can change your behavior. Your personality traits well, those are genetic. You have a lot of control over your behavior.  When feedback is given correctly, it addresses behavior not personality. So, the next bit to learn about receiving feedback. Be open-minded and adaptable; two sort after qualities.

• Learn about your behavior. Suspend judgment.  It’s never fun to learn about behaviors you’re demonstrating that are perceived as negative. However, learning about yourself at work and how your actions are interpreted in the company’s culture is part of your job.  Show that you accept what is being said to you, and show respect to the person giving the feedback.

• Avoid being argumentative and defensive. Unfortunately, ’do better or differently’ feedback is often given when the person is angry. Don’t respond in kind. By all means you should ask questions to understand the feedback. But being argumentative is perceived as being unapproachable and resistant to change.  You are making a transition from college to a career. Your first year theme is change. If however the feedback starts to get too emotional.Ask to stop the discussion and continue it when both of you have had a chance to cool off.

• Ask for specific advice. Be sincere.  Receiving feedback should be a learning experience. Ask what to do differently and what to keep doing.

What to do with feedback

Just because your boss or another person in the company gives you feedback, doesn’t mean their feedback is right.  They interpret your behavior through their own lens.  And, receiving feedback doesn’t mean you have to act on it.  It’s up to you to decide what to do with the feedback you received.

Alison’s feedback had many positive comments which she needs to learn to embrace and do more of at work.  And she decided there was validity to the ‘needs to do more of’ and ‘less of’ feedback she received.  The last bit then is what to do with the feedback you received.  How you decide to handle feedback can show your employer your skill at building relationships.

As hard as it might be say thank you.  Let people know how their feedback was helpful. And be sure to check-in with the person to learn if your actions have improved your performance.  And if brave enough ask for more feedback. 

When you find yourself in a feedback discussion going into it assuming good intentions, and that the person values and wants to improve your relationship or your work performance, even if the feedback expresses temporary dissatisfaction.