Take the Fear out of Networking

This is what I hear when I approach the subject of networking with new professional job seekers. Followed by do I have to. No. But, more than eighty percent of job seekers today get their jobs by networking. It’s the number one way to get hired.

 Why do most of us fear networking? 

Listening to job seekers I think there are two forces at work. First,they think the only reason to network is to get a job and to get a job they have to network.  That’s enormous self-imposed pressure. And, it’s the wrong mindset and goal.

Your goal when networking is to have meaningful conversations with people in the profession/career or job you are interested in or actively pursuing. It’s a way for you to get to know another professional, earn each other’s trust, and then help each other out.  Unfortunately, when you are job searching it’s easy to lose sight of this goal and instead go into networking situations thinking you have to do the uncomfortable—ask a person you don’t know for something.

So, network with the right mindset and goal to take the pressure off. Don’t network with the objective of finding a job. Instead, focus your networking activities on connecting, making friends and starting relationships. Think back to how you’ve turned a person you met in class into a friend. It took time. It required one of you to make the first move; to follow up. Perhaps one of you did a favor for the other and then that favor was reciprocated. The same principles apply to networking.

The second force making networking fearful is we’re told we have only one opportunity to make a first impression. We put a lot of pressure on ourselves to have a good opening line, memorize the elevator pitch, greet people with a firm handshake, maintain good eye contact, don’t say anything that will offend.  Be perfect.                    

Perfection is not realistic of course. Being your real self is, however, and so is being prepared. The best way to connect with people is when you are being you.  The person you called a phony when you first met; are you friends with them? Maybe yes or maybe no depending on the next time you met—it's hard to develop a relationship with someone who is not being their real self.  

You can take some of the networking pressure off by being prepared; doing some research on the company(s) and person(s) before you meet. You’ll walk into a networking situation with more confidence.

It’s also hard to connect and move the relationship forward via email.    You will not find a job sitting in front of your computer.  Your most effective networking happens when you meet people one-on-one or by phone. While you are in school take advantage of opportunities that will get you in-front of people such as career fairs or joining professional organizations.  Work with the alumni office to identify local people in your career field and people in your hometown you can meet.

Networking mindset change

You can’t go into networking so fearful and worried about your ability to do well.  Take some of the pressure off by remembering: the most you can expect from networking is you will meet new people and develop new relationships.